YO-YO

I am beginning to question whether this blog was such a good idea. I am not questioning my motives for making my health issues so public; I still believe that the truth and being upfront is the best way to keep the facts straight. And it gives my family and friends the time they need to prepare for what may come and/or to open the door to questions and important discussion if they need  (or want) to. BUT, I am not sure it is fair to take so many of you on the emotional and difficult journey that we are on.

I guess I was a little too self-absorbed to think about how this constant change in my diagnosis and prognosis was affecting so many of the people I care about. To take you on all the highs that come with new hope, and then the lows when that hope is dashed.....well, it just isn't right!! I wish with all my heart that we ("we", in the meaning of all of us, Neil and I, my incredible family, and all my wonderful friends that have been so supportive) did not have to think about this, let alone deal with it. But, I have started this journal and so feel I must continue it. I will not leave you with a cliff hanger!!

So today, I write so soon after my last blog post, because my "status" has changed once again. After my last post on september the 14th, I received another phone call from my doctor at the Cancer Centre in Calgary. He reassured me that he had not "given up" on my case, that he had JUST gotten back a final pathology report from cultures they had taken from the tumor (lovingly nick named my "evil twin") they removed from my abdomen in January. This report indicates that the primary could be, afterall, my appendix (the two pathology reports that came in last week reinforced the original "unknown primary" diagnosis). So, again, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope has been restored. However, I am not going to get too excited about this. I am too afraid that those hopes will be short lived and I am not sure any of us could handle another crash.

The unfortunate part of the latest results is that my doctor will not do the surgery YET. He wants me to undergo regular chemotherapy (but at least they should be able to get a better idea of what kind of chemo to hit me with), see if the cancer responds to it, and then he MIGHT do the surgery.

And that is the momentary long and short of it. I am still waiting to get into chemotherapy. I am hoping it will be VERY soon. All this waiting is very exhausting. I will keep you appraised of any new developments.

As to where the chemo will take place, I think I will be treated out of the Southern Interior (Kelowna) Cancer Clinic but am hoping the actual chemo will happen in Grand Forks or Trail. It would be nice to recoup after the chemo in our own home. Plus, the less we have to travel the mountain passes come winter, the better.

One last thing. I doubt if I will be able to email all of you that are not on the "Followers" list, as I have been, when I update the blog. So if you want the latest scoop, your best bet is to use the "Follow by email" option that I think comes up on my blog page. Again, don't feel obligated, it just might be easier plus the email should take you directly to the new post.

Thank you for all the love and support.
Dana